Don't Wake Up

PIGLET, DON'T BE SUCH A PRICK!

No, it;s not the Hyacinth House, it;s the House at Pooh Corner and this time the gang is still going around moving stuff with their feet like bashful crime scene investigators. "Don't Wake Me Up I'm Dreaming" with that loud George Lopez braying on the TV in the background like a donkey banging pots. George--take a drink of something. Your hurting me. It's 1:52 ayem and I was just listening to the greatest soulest smoothest heartiest "It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Alive on the TV" and Kenny Loggins Began Singing "House At Pooh Corner" like a mad man, going further and further down that particular riff and rabbit hole until I get to the point where I started to take the whole premise of the animals and their philosophical problems seriously and I get tangled up in the torrid lives of Piglet, Eeyore, Christopher Robyn and I think, Zen? Really? You match everyone you meet with a blank check that;s quickly drawn on the amount they're worth to you including our friend Piglet. The Pooh Series is basically a children's guide to suicide for the sensitive. How did Piglet get a check for a hundred quid anyhow? Pulling double trick shifts in stained mechanical bus station bathrooms. Check the nobs in the sinks and put on your long overcoat Piglet. Probably your even home free. How embarrassing is it then for the folks at Pooh Corner to see these once beloved characters scatter in my head as I nod off.
I was born at the house at Pooh Corner and captained one of Pooh's rum ships against Prohibition in the 1930s, but I never did understood the whole Pooh Bear thing--it's like a game of Clue but its cat and mouse and the cat is the great Kenny Loggins and the mouse, his partner in crime David Mamet .Instead of a cast with colorful names, like Colonel Mustard, Miss Scarlett, Doctor Brown, Black Betty, these kids had pasts. They didn't fit neatly into the box of the time.
Colonel Mustard led the overthrow and clam genocide at the the bottom of the bottom of the sea, near Christ Craft City.
Ahh, Winnie the Pooh--a childhood mystery story about suicide. Who's going to do it? Who's going to attempt? Who will succeed? Don't go guessing Pooh poetry rightaway). Give the others a chance. The floor will recognize the chair for five minutes...any objections?